Travel Tips for the Perfect Vacations

It was a travel nightmare. 

I’d flown to Rome with a dear friend. The plan was simple: Spend three weeks touring the Italian countryside. We were meeting her cousin—whom I imagined to be similar to my pal in temperament—and the three of us were going to have the time of our lives.

A week later, I was alone in Venice and they were on their way to Amsterdam. It was a disaster. Her cousin chain smoked, was suspicious of strangers, controlling, and to top it all off, she announced her plan for us all to drive (DRIVE!) to Amsterdam the second day we arrived. It was the only time, before, or since, that I’d ever seen my friend cry. Thankfully, our relationship weathered the storm, and I wound up having a great time on my own (they went to Amsterdam, I stayed in Italy.) But this experience taught me a valuable lesson: You can’t travel with just anybody.

With the summer vacation season right around the corner, most people get a case of wanderlust. Whether you plan a getaway at a local beach house, a party weekend in Vegas or a rustic backpacking adventure in Ireland, chances are you won’t go it alone. Traveling with a friend or partner has tons of advantages, number one being you cut expenses right down the middle during the journey.

But of your friends who are available to travel, who’s the right match?

“Traveling puts extra stress on any relationship,” said Susan Newman, a New Jersey social psychologist who teaches at Rutgers University. “You’ll be in close quarters for at least some of the time, and liable to find out things about each other you didn’t know.” Newman talked to 150 people about friendship for her book “Nobody’s Baby Now,” (Walker & Co. $24), and found that common interests, concern and caring, support, trust, mutual respect, respect for privacy and the ability to listen all surfaced as core elements for a good friendship. Traveling with someone who shares your views in these areas is the best-case scenario.

“How people are in real life is very different from how they are out on the road,” said Ensley Eikenburg, associate publisher of Fodor’s Travel Publications. Eikenburg travels for work as well as for fun, and her advice is to know yourself first, before you plan a trip with someone else. “What kind of a traveler are you? I can spend 10 hours in a museum, which to some people is overkill. I think you need to figure out what kind of trip you want to have, then decide who the best person is to be with.”

Once you decide if you plan to be outdoors, take in city culture or stay out late every night and party, then you can think about which friend shares those particular interests. A test run is great if you can swing it, but that’s not always in the cards. “Get together and talk about your expectations,” said Eikenburg. “Talk about things like budget, your hopes for the trip and general level of activity. You'll find out pretty quickly if you’re on the same page.”

Here are a dozen scenarios to discuss with a potential travel partner. Come to a meeting of the minds on these subjects, and chances are, you’ll have a great trip.

Budget

Hotels are the biggest expense, after airfare. Do you like local hostels or B&Bs, chain hotels, or the first class treatment? Depending on the destination and time of year, you may want the flexibility of not booking all the rooms in advance. If language is an issue, agree to share the responsibility of negotiating the room rate, if that’s part of the culture. Agree on a dollar figure, ballpark, you’d like to spend per day and stick to it.

Scheduling

If you like a structured itinerary, and your friend is Mr. Spontaneous that will only work if the other person is flexible and happy to have you do the planning. If you’re going to feel put upon at the end of the trip—as in, I did everything, he just came along for the ride—that’s a problem. Talk about it in advance.

High versus Low Maintenance

If it takes you 30 minutes to get ready for just about anything, and your friend needs an hour and a half and insists on full make-up 24/7, trouble is brewing. Same principle applies to taking public transportation vs. taxis and staying in one- and two-star hotels instead of four-star palaces. A high-maintenance girlfriend may be great for a weekend at the shore, but leave her home if you’re heading for an outdoorsy adventure in Greece.

Morning Person versus Night Owl

This seems like a minor point, until your friend wants to disco the night away while you planned for a sunrise breakfast picnic on the beach. This can work out—as long as you agree not to be ruled by each other’s biorhythms, and he’s fine about boogying solo.

What if you meet Someone...

This can be tricky. You meet señor or señorita charming. Do you stick together? Let your friend fend for him or herself? Agree to meet back at the hotel? Before the situation arises, agree on a safe M.O. for when and if this comes up.

Be Able to Blow Things Off

“You’re going to get in a fight about directions at least once if you’re driving,” said Eikenburg. “Be ready for it, and be able to let it go.”

Ask for Down-time

It’s not healthy for friends, spouses, anybody, to be in each other’s pocket all the time. Taking private time for yourself isn’t something to be taken personally. In fact, it’ll make the trip run smoother.

Hash out the Food Thing

Eating local cuisine when I travel is all-important to me. My idea of hell would be to travel with someone who is afraid to taste new things. Talk about your expectations about the food and dining experience and your food budget. Be sure you’re on the same wavelength, because eating is something you’ll be doing a lot of.

Are you the “Odd Couple?”

If you’re a slob and your companion is a compulsive neatnik, tensions may arise. If you’re sharing a room, a car, a train compartment, the same air space, your different approaches may create friction. Work out a game plan, and try to adjust.

Share the same definition of adventure

For instance, I was fine with the idea of ice trekking in Alaska as a daylong excursion while on a Princess Cruise. I was not fine with the idea of repelling down a 50-foot wall of ice. Wish someone had told me about that part. Be sure you and your pal has about the same level of physical ability and are seeking the same thrills.

Talk about what you’re packing

It’s a pet peeve of mine. I never pack more than I can handle. And unless the other person is old, infirm, pregnant, or handling small children, I don’t help with their bags. Heavy packing means heavy lifting. Compare notes on toiletries and other essentials, discuss the type of transportation you’re taking (European budget car rentals, for example, have very little trunk space) and agree on the amount of luggage you’re bringing. And always carry your own stuff.

Be Flexible

“Be open to your friend’s seemingly wacky suggestions,” said Eikenburg. “Maybe you would never think of kayaking in the Bay of Cortez, but it would turn out to be the trip of a lifetime. The best part about traveling with a friend is learning from each other.”

Where to Go Now!

Thinking about getting away? Point yourself in one of these directions for an amazing holiday, guaranteed.

A Romantic Getaway

New Orleans
Your dollars may not hold up to the prices in Paris, but with its French patina, sultry jazz and decadent dining, N’Awlins is an affordable second honeymoon waiting to happen.

Musts: Beignets at Café du Monde; a carriage ride around the French Quarter; dinner at August, John Besh’s fantastic restaurant in the CBD; and jazz at 528, an intimate jazz club inside the hotel at Harrah’s. www.neworleansonline.com

San Francisco
It's no coincidence that the reigning queen of romance fiction, writer Danielle Steel, gets her inspiration from this sumptuous city, churning out novel after naughty novel from her Victorian Pacific Heights home. Blessed with sophisticated urban charm, natural beauty and tons of great restaurants, visiting San Francisco can easily fill a three-day weekend. Pick a theme – such as art, neighborhoods, food, architecture, etc.—and choose attractions to match. Add on a few days toasting in wine country, and what could be better?

Musts: An afternoon strolling the Ferry Building Marketplace on the Embarcadero, with its plethora of specialty and organic food stalls and wine shops. It’s also home to the best Vietnamese restaurant ever, Slanted Door – be sure to make reservations ahead of time. www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com. Spend a few hours exploring and shopping in the Haight, where the "Summer of Love" is alive and well throughout this charming Victorian sector. And FYI – saying "Frisco" or "San Fran” is never a good idea, unless you really do want avoid locals and be alone. www.onlyinsanfrancisco.com

Amalfi Coast
This stretch of dramatic coastline below Naples, above the instep of Italy’s famous boot, is set squarely at the intersection of passion and romance. Drive along Highway 163, the coastal route that hugs the famous Amalfi cliffs. On the one side, a sheer drop into the sparkling sea. On the other, picturesque hillside villages, including Positano, Amalfi and Ravello. The road twists and turns, offering the exhilarating rush of literally driving on the edge.

Musts: A visit to Paestum, home to jaw-dropping ancient Greek ruins and arguably the best mozzarella di bufala in Italy, made from the milk of massive water buffalos, a tradition that some pundits date back to 200 B.C. when Hannibal and his water buffalos passed through the region. Visit the Villa Cimbrone, with its most-photographed vista overlooking the sea, in Ravello. In Positano, scramble up the hillside to follow “Sentiero degli Dei", the hiking path of the gods. Afterward, reward yourselves with a long, wine-soaked lunch and a siesta.

Family Vacation

Washington D.C.
America's hometown is an ideal destination for families. From the grandeur of the national monuments, to the diversity of the Smithsonian complex and the outdoor splendor of the National Zoo, our nation’s capitol has all the bases covered.

Musts: Intersperse indoor activities with time spent outdoors, in places like the Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden or the 165-acre National Zoo, a 20-minute car or Metro ride north of the Mall. Take flight with the National Air and Space Museum, home to the original Wright 1903 Flyer, the Spirit of St. Louis, the Apollo 11 command module, and a lunar rock sample that kids (of all ages) can touch. www.washington.org

Orlando
Theme parks come in every flavor in Florida’s most visited city, from Mickey Mouse and Disney to Spiderman and Universal Studios and Sea World’s Shamu Adventure. A few of the newest attractions are Splash Island Water Park in Cypress Gardens and the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show at Disney-MGM Studios.

Musts: IllumiNations fireworks at Epcot, and the nightly New Year’s Eve countdown and fireworks at Disney’s Pleasure Island. For sports fans, Orlando is home to the Atlanta Braves spring training games and the minor league Orlando Rays. www.orlandoinfo.com.

Branson
Nestled in the scenic Ozark Mountains, Branson, MO caters to families, with an emphasis on live music and good, clean fun. Three theme parks await: Celebration City, with its eight-story wooden rollercoaster; Silver Dollar City, an 1880s theme park that combines rides with a look at a pioneer homestead; and White Water, a water adventure for the whole family.

Musts: Take in a show or three – Live music is everywhere with themes ranging from country (Dixie Stampede, Duttons Music Show) to heartland America (Celebrate America.) www.bransonchamber.com

A Weekend with Friends

Memphis
Roots, rock ‘n’ roll and barbecue all combine for one dynamic destination. Visit Memphis, and you’re guaranteed to get barbecue sauce on your face, smoke in your eyes and a groove in your soul.

Musts: Soak up only-in-Memphis culture with a must-see trip to Graceland, a music tour of the famed Sun Studios and the Stax Museum of American Soul. www.memphistravel.com

Vegas
You know the drill, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. With a gourmet dining scene second to none, tons of nightlife, spas and shopping, Vegas is perfect for a long weekend away. Oh, there’s gambling too, if that’s your thing.

Musts: Dinner at the bar at L'atelier de Joel at MGM Grand. Same great food as the upscale Robuchon restaurant next door – where 16 courses runs $360—but less formal and much less expensive. Drinks on the terrace at Mixx, overlooking the Strip, at Mandalay Bay. Splurge on a customized desert tour (www.creativeadventuresltd.net) if you like the outdoors, complete with folklore, storytelling and off the beaten path adventure. www.visitlasvegas.com

Nassau, Bahamas
Nassau, the capital city of the Bahamian islands, is actually on New Providence Island and across the bridge from Paradise Island. A short hop from Philly, Nassau offers crystalline waters, a dose of island culture and duty free shopping – what’s not to like?

Musts: walk over the bridge to Paradise Island and get a load of the scene at Atlantis, with its mega fish tanks, chic shops and multitude of restaurants and bars. Take ride on a charter sailboat or hobi, go snorkeling, drink rum punch and kick back. www.bahamas.com

LifeStyle Magazine Travel Editor Beth D’Addono lives in Belmont Hills.